Well Hello :) It seems that I did have a lot to say for a short period of time there, thus my previous two blogs. Shortly after that time, the crazy train of life took yet another completely unexpected turn and drove me into a more internal quiet space. It was a time of me coming home early, reading my book, thinking and falling asleep to getting up, sitting outside the small Ashland apartment on my black chair with my blanket meditating, or staring out at magical old Bear Creek Mountain. I remember trying to describe how I felt at that time and thinking, "it is like I am climbing a mountain and I have no idea where the top is. It is the biggest challenge of my life. And I am just tired." During that time my life seemed to be crashing down and I was trying my best to reconfigure it. I was just about to throw in the towel of my Oregon life; call my previous partner that I moved away from 8 months ago to start this new life and tell him I couldn't talk or see him anymore, it was too difficult. I started to fantasize about the long train ride home. The soothing sway of the Empire Builder as it moved past green hills of windmills in Washington, through Iowa, the mountains of Montana and finally the slow open heart of North Dakota. I thought about the birch and maple trees of  Minnesota and lake superior, my friendships there and my past love, all with fervent intensity. I had to do something different and fast.

But...I am not fast about anything. I am more of a slow moving prairie chicken at the core. Slow like the landscape of the Midwest I grew up in. Where the sun seems to rise and set for an extra long time because of all the space it has to stretch out in. I had a small window of time to get on that train. To go back to where I came from before Oregon, not at all having any idea what I would do there. Then a series of events lead to something different. My pregnancy. An inception of a new life to join me in this one. A universal expression of energy with a uniqueness of its own, a blueprint, a pattern, a string that connects to everything else, a part of the web of energy in this immense unfathomable place.

This transition is not an easy one, and I didn't know how to continue my writing or any other direction I was going in after learning of this news. My partner and I discussed it and decided that I would move back in with him in a beautiful coastal town I hadn't lived in before just a little ways away from where we had lived. Being back in the relationship in a new town, new house and with roommates made moving back more appealing. I am 8 months pregnant now, and have been away from my independent "new life" and in this unexpected switchback for 3 months. I am slowly gathering my bearings.

I am hoping a new set of goals and aspirations in alignment with this new new life will become starkly clear as the days pass on. Now this life is no longer just my own, but is shared with two others. That is the biggest difference.

The best way I can end this first new blog in my new new life is with this beautiful piece of writing one of my dearest friends sent to us in an email:

Peace Lives in Me

I shelter it

All I can do is be myself

And that is enough for this world

I am strong 

and brave 

and bold

I'm confident

Empowered

I can do this

Live this dream

Engage in this life

I am giving

and growing 

and learning

I am free from the

Expectations of others

-Kerry Costello

Here is to everything, 

Blog 3 Complete.

Ariel